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Aging and My Mid-Life Crisis

I can't believe that I am now 40. It sounds SO OLD. But I don't feel like I should be THAT old. Its depressing. I think I'm having a harder time accepting this then I did for when I turned 30.

It's scary. To be frank and a little macabre, you have to start planning for end of life stuff. There is a lot I have yet to do with my life. But to be planning old people stuff, its scary.

How much longer am I going to live? How can I do this the healthiest that I possibly can? Should I buy life insurance for my other half and I? How can I increase our retirement savings. (Going on a cruise a couple times a year is not helping with that savings.) At what age should I sign up for AARP?

I had one friend die of Pancreatic cancer this past year. It hit him hard and sadly fast. I had another friend in November pass due to complications with pneumonia and his diabetes. I seen him in the store a week or two before he passed and he was out of it. I googled both their names when I did n…

Gaining Weight - rambling post

I usually weigh myself pretty regularly. Sometimes in the morning when I wake up. Sometimes before bed. I usually don't stress about my weight all that much. Really just how my clothes feel and if my pants are tight.

Today, I AM stressing because my pants are tight and the scale moved up 2 pounds.

I am one of those people who have never been totally successful at weight loss. Nor have I ever really tried til recently. High school, my weight was steady at 150, give or take a pound or 2. I did weigh 250 at one time (age 22) and dropped down to 180 before my divorce when I was 25. After the divorce I was 160 and stayed there happily the past few years, until working the graveyard shift and being in a relationship where someone prefers to stay at home and not out and about like I prefer, I think has really affected my weight. Depression really does affect weight.

There has been 2 times that I have dropped weight like magic and it involved being on the elliptical an hour or so a day everyday.

My diet is pretty healthy (I even cut out my beloved Starbucks from everyday to once a week) and I feel like I obsess over calories and what goes in my mouth more then I ever have-ever! But here I am, full of stress today over a few pounds, which has been over 10 pounds since last July. I am thinking it may be 15 pounds since July.

I have noticed that the places that I did work out hard before I started running alot, is the places that is gaining the most fat. This being my abdomen and my arms. I was getting some major definition in my arms last summer.

So, now, my question is what to do about it? I can't gain anymore weight or that will mean a whole new closet of clothes. Which I can't afford to do. With money or vanity. I can obsess over what goes in my mouth a little bit more then normal, but I don't want to cut calories too much or I feel that my energy level suffers. I can be on the elliptical everyday for an hour again and see if that helps. I can add more weight training to my workout during the weeks to bring some muscle definition back. I have been thinking about getting a Bodybugg again because that helped 2 years ago. Knowing how many calories I am burning and how many I can take in. I dropped 10 pounds and felt really good doing it.

I guess I will try a bit of all of the above. Repurchase a Bodybugg with Digital Display. Add more cross training. Not eat so much. And lay off some of the weekend alcohol, I only drink on weekends. I always worry that working out before work zaps all of my energy, but I can always nap on breaks. And count the clock before I can go home and sleep.

Does anyone else have any weight loss ideas?


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