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Aging and My Mid-Life Crisis

I can't believe that I am now 40. It sounds SO OLD. But I don't feel like I should be THAT old. Its depressing. I think I'm having a harder time accepting this then I did for when I turned 30.

It's scary. To be frank and a little macabre, you have to start planning for end of life stuff. There is a lot I have yet to do with my life. But to be planning old people stuff, its scary.

How much longer am I going to live? How can I do this the healthiest that I possibly can? Should I buy life insurance for my other half and I? How can I increase our retirement savings. (Going on a cruise a couple times a year is not helping with that savings.) At what age should I sign up for AARP?

I had one friend die of Pancreatic cancer this past year. It hit him hard and sadly fast. I had another friend in November pass due to complications with pneumonia and his diabetes. I seen him in the store a week or two before he passed and he was out of it. I googled both their names when I did n…

Ego Benefits of Weight Loss

Although I am not down a TON of weight, I am at a weight that was my post-high school adult happy weight - before I met the ex BF a few years ago and started drinking...

I told the current BF when I hit this said weight LOOK OUT! I'll be more confident and flirty and I know that I am the shiznit...

I AM at THAT weight now.

We went out to dinner Friday night and I had a man (not the BF) hold the door open for me on the way in. I had another random stranger man (not the BF) hold the door open for me on the way out.

A thought hit me at that time is that men must be doing that now because I am getting skinny. It's happened a few other times this week that I paid no mind to. The BFs remark was that I might not be far off on that thought.

Sunday, I set off on a slow and sloggy walk/trot. I had no time to worry about. I just wanted a huge calorie burn and wanted to get something around 12 miles. I was running by feel and I was feeling good. 2 rest days in a row, followed by an easy day will do that to a person.

I walk/trotted 3.5 miles on the country farm roads and the BF biked along, picking up cans for recycling. We got to a point where his bag was full and a mile from the house. I was a mile from the high school track, so he headed home and I went to the track.

There were a couple young boys there 13, 14, 15- somewhere around there. Two brothers. Nice boys with their black lab playing with the track equipment. I just did what I planed on doing which was track trotting. They, being boys started showing off after a couple of laps by taking off their shirts and pulling each other on the sled with the attached harness, telling me they were training as I passed them each lap. Cute.

My miles 6, 7, 8 passed so quickly. I was able to get into the zone and into my mental running happy place. I decided to check Instagram and I started a walk break. The boys were concerned and asked if I was done since I did, like, 60 laps! Nope, not done. Still have 3-4 miles to do.

Another 2 miles passed, I was running again, and they had to ask me how many laps are left now. 8 or so laps. 2 more miles.

I hit 12 miles and headed to the bleachers. I was picking up cans to take home and the younger boy asked if I needed help. lol, no. There were maybe 5 cans or so but that's 10 cents!

At this time, the boys got their shirts and jackets on and headed towards me to the entrance of the track. I was leaving and they were too. The older boy asked like he was so impressed about how many laps that I did. Well, I did 4 miles before I came here, and just finished 12. And I have a mile and a half before I get home, so I will be doing about 14 before I'm done.

Wow, they both said. Shocked.

And I trotted off.

The point of telling you that is that, THAT never happened the last few years. YOU might be impressed knowing that I DO do miles and put in work and complete the races that I do. But strangers in real life opening the doors for me and young boys blatantly impressed with this young cougar didn't happen before. 

I DO notice that people treat me differently since this weight loss. And I'm only 1/3 to my goal! It FEELS good to know that people are liking what they see. I feel that my hard work is paying off and knowing that I am more attractive to others is a big ego boost. Mentally, I feel the same. Since I have struggled with depression the past few years, letting go of my black cloud might take a while. I don't feel that cocky attitude shift yet, but I know how I felt mentally better when I was at this weight pre-2007, so I am hoping I can feel that way again.

Anyone with weight loss experience have this happen? Noticing that people treat you differently? If men start getting flirty, do women start becoming catty bitches?

FYI - the pics are me the same weight.

Same shirt, less flab. Left is last weekend. Right is Robie Creek in 2013. 2013, I lost weight by only running and really only lost it in my legs. I was still drinking and eating normally. This go around, I have a clean diet and am doing running, plus everything else. And I've lost weight everywhere. I guess I should have done better before and afters for this weight loss project. ;-)


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